Tony's Poems

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In this section I put up a new poem at regular intervals. There are many different sorts of verse, but as I expect you know by now I prefer those with some sort of form and metre.

I have put up a mixture in Previous Poems 1, 2 and 3. Some serious, some light, some in thoughtful mode, some much more spontaneous - but all with a distinct structure.

Some people think that formal structures have to be 'heavy' and/or 'old fashioned'. I don't think so. One of my favourite formal styles is the Sonnet - a 14 line verse which looks at one focus and comments on it, either in the final couplet (Shakespearean) or in the last six lines (Italian) style. They can be serious or light or romantic or profound - whatever you choose to make them.

 This is the time of the notorious Turner Prize, and I have been asked if I would reprise my attempt to enter the competition. Of Course! My pleasure.


I’ve absolutely nothing against artistic experiment, but am deeply sceptical about some of the praise heaped by pretended cognoscenti on absolutely anything, however worthless. A dustbin lid thrown on to a bath mat remains just that – to call it ‘Art’ removes any meaning from the idea of Art – even if you call it Concept Art.



The Turnaround


I decided I would mount an exhibition

 To satirise those pseuds of Modern Art –

The mindlessly excessive and the tastelessly obsessive;

My enterprise would wound them to the heart.


So: I cut a Gloucester sausage into sections

And put them in a glass jar, a la Hirst,

Then I filled it more or less with some purple-tinted meths:

This was wittily subscribed, ‘Is this your wurst?’


I sliced a skull in half using a chain saw

And painted the vacated brain-box red;

A feather I employed to enhance the aching void

And I aptly called it, ‘Tracy Emin’s head’.


I took a sheet of unused cartridge paper

And sprayed rude words upon its pristine white;

I trod it on the floor and then sprayed it with some more

And I thought I’d simply call it, ‘Right-on Write’.


I inscribed a single word upon some cardboard

And placed it in a frame of hand-cut yew;

There was only just the one so I thought it would be fun

To specify the name: ‘Untitled 2’.


I collected up a barrow load of rubble

And deposited the lot upon the floor;

It was eye-catching as hell – and it caught the feet as well

For it nearly blocked the entrance to the door.                                     


But: my Exhibition failed in its intention,

For the Turner judges praised my ‘au contraire-ness’,

And instinctively they saw that the rubble on the floor

Showed ‘Eroto-latent Spatial Unawareness’.


Then a man called Saatchi bought the whole caboodle!

Now, I sit and watch my fortune as it swells.

I’m Happening! I’m Hot! Though I lost the bloody plot

I’m the Nouveau Avant-Garde of Tunbridge Wells.


 These are in Previous Poems file:

1. You eat what you are.

2. Republican Limerick.

3. Jonathan Hurd

4.  Shock 11/2/13

5.  Serious Sonnet - A Question of History 18/2/13

6. Celebrity Time

7. The Witches Charm Club

8. Polemic Poems 1; The Turnaround

9. Polemic Poems 2; Rhyme and Reason

10. Poems for Places 1. The Road to Bath

11. Poems for places 2. Chipping Campden

12. Silly Verse for Sensible Kids 2.  Trouble in the Channel

13 Envoi for Mary

These are in Previous Poems 2 file

14 Poem for Spring Gardeners

15 Haiku

16 Bank Holiday Gardening Poem

17 Family Foibles:  1 Losing Keys

18 Family Foibles:  2. Holiday Departure

These are in Previous Poems 3 file

19 Poems for Places   - The Cotswold Way

20 Trespassing

21 Decisions

22 Join the Club

23 Silly Verse for \sensible Kids  3.Dance in the Deep

24 Angst at Ottaker's

25 The Wasp

26 Cloud Cuckoo Land

27 The Edge of Insanity

28 The Deserted School

29 It was all rather dramatic

These will appear in Previous Poems 4 file.

30 September

31 Painswick

32 October

33 Stow on the Wold

34. November

35. Cirencester

35. December

36 Marshfield

37 January 

38 Broadway

39 February

40 Snowshill

41 March

42 Cheltenham

43 April

44 Gloucester

45 May

46 Tetbury

47 June

$8 Chipping Campden

59 July

60 Bath

61 August

62 Cranham 


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Ishmal Jane | Reply 17.10.2019 12.35

It seems really great and informative stuff to me which I will share with my dad after my Hope he will like this

Gordon | Reply 04.07.2016 14.06

Hey, my next door neighbour's a poet..
...and I didn't know it!

Well done Tony, I shall peruse with interest.

Jo | Reply 03.03.2014 19.03

Its a bit warmer here so most things are up including weeds - the sea defences are damaged - 10.2 metre tide today, 50 knot gusts - and it goes on raining--

ET | Reply 03.03.2014 14.38

What if, indeed, Tony! The title is succinct.

Tony | Reply 19.08.2013 19.41

Serious again this week. Thoughts of school and GCSE an education and all that. Nothing much changes, does it??

ET | Reply 15.07.2013 15.21

Very waspish, Tony!

Eiry Rees Thomas | Reply 01.07.2013 19.07

This is such a fun poem, Tony. Children love rhythm and rhyme. It's a shame that publishers so often disregard them due to co-editing issues.

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Latest comments

17.10 | 12:35

It seems really great and informative stuff to me which I will share with my dad after my Hope he will like this

06.12 | 09:35

One of your very best Tony! Hope you are both well. Christmas wishes now and to come with news when we get organised.xx

24.11 | 13:00

Great to see that all is going well. Best wishes. Jonathan

04.07 | 14:06

Hey, my next door neighbour's a poet..
...and I didn't know it!

Well done Tony, I shall peruse with interest.

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