I do not need a camper van
To visit lonely dales -
I have a portacabin house
Peculiar to snails.
I wander anywhere
From John O’ Groats to Wales:
There’s nowhere in this verdant land
Prohibited to snails.
I slide among the lettuces
On sticky silver trails
Avoiding small blue pellets left
The hostas and the irises
My ceaseless mouth assails
So gardeners always put the blame
On us poor hungry snails.
But when the autumn sun declines
And into winter pales,
is it cleans the whole place up?
That’s right - it’s all us snails.
Haiku is a Japanese import, not
really a poem in the conventional sense. It consists of three lines, the first of 5 syllables, the second of 7 syllables, and the third of 5.
It is supposed to say something profound, classically with a statement (thesis),
an opposing statement (antithesis) and a conclusion (resolution). They are fun to do, but it is difficult to achieve a meaningful result.
This is my take on it.
For writing deep thought
Seventeen syllables are
Optimistic Spring Bank Holiday gardening poem.
GARDEN OF MY DREAMS
The garden of my dreams will be
Lit by a thousand dawns
With shadows shortening in the frost
On sparkling, velvet lawns.
A garden pool, forever clear,
Will glisten in the light
Resplendently reflecting every
Dragonfly in flight.
No bloom shall wither in the cold,
Becoming frozen failures;
But all will flourish winter-long,
Even the tender dahlias.
No wind shall fell the runner beans
Or leave tomatoes trashed;
The parsnips will be straight and long,
The potatoes ready-mashed.
But most of all, my dream demands
Not cut flowers, laid in trugs -
But no more bind-weed, no more wasps,
And no more bloody slugs.
Family Foibles: 1. Losing Keys
daughter is lovely and charming
And clever and easy to please,
And the only complaint that we ever have had
Is, she always is losing her keys.
We have spent many hours in hunting
In the kitchen, her
bedroom and lair,
And whenever we help and look anywhere else
She shouts out, “I know they’re not there.”
“Where do you think you last had them?
Just think for a moment
And after no minutes in thinking, replies
With a pointedly terse, ”I don’t know.”
One famous occasion had found her
Putting frozen foods back into freeze;
But it wasn’t
until we thawed some of it out
That we found where she’d mislaid her keys.
I’m sure she will end up in Heaven
And will empathise fully when she’s
Informed by St Peter, a year or two on,
sorry - I can’t find the keys.”
2. Holiday Departure
Children are always excited at holiday, but their excitement and enthusiasm does sometimes detract from the process of starting off!
How long will it take, Dad?
Tell me, is it far?
When’ll we get started, Dad?
Can I get in the car?
Will it be quite hot, Dad?
And will you drive quite quick?
And if we take too long, Dad,
Will it make me sick?
Can I have the front seat, Dad?
I think that would be fun -
Yes, I know he wants to, Dad,
But he can sit
You’ll never fit them in, Dad,
You’ve used up all the spaces;
There’s still the box of food, Dad,
And two or three more cases.
Can I take my farm-yard, Dad,
And bring my like-size bear?
What did you do that for, Dad?
You clipped me round the ear!