Previous Poems 2



I do not need a camper van

To visit lonely dales -

I have a portacabin house

Peculiar to snails.


I wander anywhere I like

From John O’ Groats to Wales:

There’s nowhere in this verdant land

Prohibited to snails.


I slide among the lettuces

On sticky silver trails

Avoiding small blue pellets left

Specifically for snails.


The hostas and the irises

My ceaseless mouth assails

So gardeners always put the blame

On us poor hungry snails.


But when the autumn sun declines

And into winter pales,

Who is it cleans the whole place up?

That’s right - it’s all us snails.



Haiku is a Japanese import, not really a poem in the conventional sense. It consists of three lines, the first of 5 syllables, the second of 7 syllables, and the third of 5.

It is supposed to say something profound, classically with a statement (thesis), an opposing statement (antithesis) and a conclusion (resolution). They are fun to do, but it is difficult to achieve a meaningful result.

This is my take on it.

For writing deep thought

Seventeen syllables are

Wholly inadequ. 



Optimistic Spring Bank Holiday gardening poem.



 The garden of my dreams will be

Lit by a thousand dawns

With shadows shortening in the frost

On sparkling, velvet lawns.


A garden pool, forever clear,

Will glisten in the light

Resplendently reflecting every

Dragonfly in flight.


No bloom shall wither in the cold,

Becoming frozen failures;

But all will flourish winter-long,

Even the tender dahlias.


No wind shall fell the runner beans

Or leave tomatoes trashed;

The parsnips will be straight and long,

The potatoes ready-mashed.


But most of all, my dream demands

Not cut flowers, laid in trugs -

But no more bind-weed, no more wasps,

And no more bloody slugs.


Family Foibles: 1. Losing Keys


My daughter is lovely and charming

And clever and easy to please,

And the only complaint that we ever have had

Is, she always is losing her keys.


We have spent many hours in hunting

In the kitchen, her bedroom and lair,

And whenever we help and look anywhere else

She shouts out, “I know they’re not there.”


“Where do you think you last had them?

Just think for a moment or so.”

And after no minutes in thinking, replies

With a pointedly terse, ”I don’t know.”


One famous occasion had found her

Putting frozen foods back into freeze;

But it wasn’t until we thawed some of it out

That we found where she’d mislaid her keys.


I’m sure she will end up in Heaven

And will empathise fully when she’s

Informed by St Peter, a year or two on,

“I’m sorry - I can’t find the keys.”


 Family Foibles 

2. Holiday Departure

Children are always excited at holiday, but their excitement and enthusiasm does sometimes detract from the process of starting off!



How long will it take, Dad?

Tell me, is it far?

When’ll we get started, Dad?

Can I get in the car?


Will it be quite hot, Dad?

And will you drive quite quick?

And if we take too long, Dad,

Will it make me sick?


Can I have the front seat, Dad?

I think that would be fun -

Yes, I know he wants to, Dad,

But he can sit with Mum.


You’ll never fit them in, Dad,

You’ve used up all the spaces;

There’s still the box of food, Dad,

And two or three more cases.


Can I take my farm-yard, Dad,

And bring my like-size bear?


What did you do that for, Dad?

You clipped me round the ear!

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Latest comments

17.10 | 12:35

It seems really great and informative stuff to me which I will share with my dad after my Hope he will like this

06.12 | 09:35

One of your very best Tony! Hope you are both well. Christmas wishes now and to come with news when we get organised.xx

24.11 | 13:00

Great to see that all is going well. Best wishes. Jonathan

04.07 | 14:06

Hey, my next door neighbour's a poet..
...and I didn't know it!

Well done Tony, I shall peruse with interest.

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